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Writer's pictureKrati Sahu

"The Struggle to Stand Still" | Fragments of a Wandering Mind

Updated: Dec 9


I couldn’t resist. I tried my utmost to avoid confrontation with him, suppressing my thoughts and making them timid—at least for a while—until he found himself. But the truth is, he’s lost.


Do you know how that feels? It’s like a storm raging through the mind, wreaking havoc. The chaos is fiercer on him. I want to help, but I can’t. He doesn’t seek help either. And the person I want to help? He’s not fully there. The storm has fractured him in two, and we’re all searching for the missing half.


In this storm, I too find myself divided. One half of me is angry with him for succumbing to the chaos, while the other half rises above it all, unwavering in its resolve. That’s when I remind myself of a singular thought: "The battle is against the havoc—not him". And in this clarity, I feel stronger than ever.


I know myself—my resilience. No situation, no storm can overtake me for long. That’s what I believe: anyone who relentlessly seeks the light will never be consumed by darkness.





 

The Eternal and the Battling "He"

Within 24 hours of publishing my first fragment, I found myself here again. Thoughts spiraled into overthinking in a mere blink. Writing this out feels better than letting it fester in my mind.

You’re probably wondering who this mysterious he is. Is he someone I love? Am I baring my relationship woes here?


No, it’s not that simple. I have three significant “He” figures in my life—so vital that I would stand against the world for them. Yet, my dilemma lies in this: two of them are at war with themselves, grappling with the most challenging battles of their lives. And the third? He is eternal.

Let me introduce you to him, the eternal one. He resides in all our lives. We know him, the world knows him. The other two? They are mine. Their battles are relentless—daily, moment by moment. They fear losing, not because of pride, but because the price of defeat is unbearably precious.



As a spectator, I can only watch and hope for their victory. I believe they will win. But sometimes, those in the thick of battle cannot see their own triumph on the horizon.


Relating It to You

To make this more relatable, let’s remove “Krati vs Him” from the equation and replace it with you. Picture yourself in this situation.

How often do we see conflict as us vs. the other person? We dig trenches, prepare our defenses, and assume the fight is against them. But is it really? What if it’s actually you vs. the situation?

Recognizing this pattern is crucial. Before you jump to conclusions or assign blame, take a step back. Not every battle is against someone else. Sometimes, the real struggle is with the chaos, the circumstances, or the havoc itself.




Walking Through My Mind

This blog is fragmented—intentionally so. It’s not solely about him. At any moment, I might swerve into another topic, shifting your perspective without warning. That’s the essence of this series. If I’ve managed to draw you in and stir your thoughts, then I’ve succeeded.

Reading this is like walking through my mind. But don’t mistake it for freedom to roam—I curate the path. Only the parts I choose to expose are visible. There’s beauty in keeping some corners private. Living openly for the world can be rewarding, but there’s power in holding some of yourself back.

The world isn’t always kind. Think about every moment you’ve laid yourself bare, only to have others take advantage. It’s a shared experience—terrible, heartbreaking, and yet profoundly human.



I love this piece drawn by me, although inspiration came from Pinterest
 

A Question for You

If opening up to others makes us feel judged or wounded, should we stop sharing? Should all misery remain locked in the heart?

While you ponder this, let me share my take. Some burdens are too heavy for the heart to bear. Our hearts are tender, meant for joy and love—not grief, anger, or sorrow. These are best handed over to the mind.


I know many have no one to confide in. If you’ve been judged or dismissed for sharing too much, stop. Silence is better than hollow words. Don’t pressure your heart to carry what your mind is better equipped to handle.

Our minds and souls are more powerful than we realize. I’ve endured my share of storms, but I’ve also glimpsed the light. And that light? It’s always there, waiting for us to reach it.



 

The Journey Continues

This fragment ends here, but the exploration doesn’t. I’ll move to another corner of my wandering mind, while you, dear reader, do your part. Ask yourself the necessary questions—just as I’m asking mine.


Who knows? In this process, I might just find my missing half—the part I never realized was absent, waiting to be discovered.





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Dec 07

It was good!

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